


tonight, you're perfect

by 80stenbrough



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: F/M, M/M, One Shot, Reddie, fluff at the start, then it's ANGST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 04:36:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12809769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/80stenbrough/pseuds/80stenbrough
Summary: tonight you're perfecti wanna fall in love with stars in your eyestonight you're perfecti wanna fall in love but only for the night





	tonight, you're perfect

**_12:08 AM, september eighth, nineteen ninety two._ **

he was laying on richie’s bed, twisting at his hair and listening to his breathing. his heart skipped a beat a couple times, thinking of the boy laying next to him. this isn’t what friends did to other friends, this wasn’t how friends should feel about each other. but eddie did, and eddie was savoring the moment he was in.

eddie was sixteen, and falling in love.

the two boys did this at least three times a week. just acting like they were together, dating, but as school fell upon the day, richie stopped holding eddie’s hand and kissing his jawline. richie went back to making your mom jokes, back to acting like he lacks empathy (newsflash, he has a lot), and most of all, acting like he was straight. of course he’d say he was straight, no one wants to be gay nowadays, and  _ especially  _ if eddie kaspbrak had anything to do with it. so far, eddie was the group’s only lgbt member. god, if they could see richie tozier by nightfall; they’d think he was gay, too.

eddie snuggled closer into the crook of richie’s neck, breathing in. still smelled like cigarette smoke and mint, still smelled like richie. richie made a humming noise, and grabbed the hand that was playing in his hair. he laced their fingers together, kissing the knuckles lightly. eddie liked this side of richie, the soft side. the side that only eddie got to see, the one where richie was soft and beautifully poetic with his limited choice of words that night. the nights where eddie didn’t mind being called eds, not at all.

eddie smiled with content. the dark room was filled with a comfortable silence, and neither boys dared to break it. why would they want to? it felt as though if someone spoke, the special moment they’ve created amongst each other would shatter.

“eds,” richie’s voice was sleepy. eddie could melt in this bed now if he wanted to. “we gotta sleep, my boy.” my boy, my boy, my boy,  _ my boy, my boy, my boy, _

“then let’s sleep, bubs,” eddie whispered, and even in the dark he saw the tips of richie’s ears go red.

**_3:20 P.M., september eighth, nineteen ninety two._ **

eddie rubbed his eyes as he trotted down the school steps to the bike rack. everybody was there, but there was a new person. richie had his arms swung around a pretty girl’s shoulders. she stood about five foot four, lean with curly brown hair and bright brown eyes. he stopped for a moment, squeezing his hydrox mist aspirator down his throat.

_ (they’re placebos eddie, you don’t need your medicine _

_ you don’t need it you don’t need it you don’t need) _

“eddie spaghetti! how’s it going?” eddie couldn’t believe he was going to inevitably fall in love with someone who has a nickname for him related to  _ food. _ god, he hated that he liked this boy so much.

“i’m pretty sure i just failed a history test.” he scanned the group. stan was bright red and bill was smiling slightly. bev and ben were holding hands, and mike was listening intently. richie still had his arm around the girl.  _ (of course he’s not attracted to boys, eddie, have you looked at yourself you’re just gonna be a gay you’ll go soon enough) _ “you see, it’s not my fault. all of the things we learned in class i was out for the time! i had a fever, i could’ve died! so many people die from things they  _ think _ is a fever but is actually, like, strep or something. i could’ve had untreated strep and died!”

“i think you can easily treat strep, eddie,” mike said with a hint of amusement in his voice.

“well, you never know!” the short boy huffs, crossing his arms. 

“oh, eds-”

"don’t call me that,”

“you never fail to make me smile. cute, cute, cute!” richie smiled brightly, and eddie had an unnerving feeling to reach for his aspirator again. he didn’t, but it was a thought. “today i’ve acquired a girlfriend.”

“r-ruh-ruh-richie, i-is this that p-person y-yuh-you’ve be-be-heen telling me a-about r-recently?” bill questioned. richie turned bright red and hesitated, but was quick with an answer nonetheless.

“of course, b-b-b-bill! anyways, losers club, this is marie. mah pretty lil’ darlin’,” he grinned, adding a horrible southern accent on the end. only richie noticed when eddie pulled the trigger on his aspirator for the second time in the span of ten minutes. his eyebrows knitted in concern, but he composed himself.

“it’s nice to meet you all.” marie had a nice voice, eddie guesses. he pretends he isn’t sad, because eddie knows he’s not meant to be. he pretends that his heart didn’t shatter into a million pieces, because eddie knows him and richie were never meant to be. eddie pretends that he’s okay, because right now marie and richie are meant to be.

but eddie can’t get over the fact that it hurts. it hurts so damn much.

she turned to shake eddie’s hand, and he took a long breath before holding it. “my name is eddie.” is all he said. everyone was a bit worried because of that, since eddie usually likes to talk people’s ears off,  _ especially _ new people. but all eddie did was shake her hand and, very visibly, put hand sanitizer on his hands right after. 

“don’t worry about eds-”

“not my name,”

“there, he’s five foot seven of pure germaphobe.” eddie crossed his arms again, staying silent. he didn’t want to be here, he didn’t want to talk to richie anymore. “isn’t that right, eds?”

“sure,” he responded curtly, a verbal warning to stop talking about him. eddie’s chest blossomed with guilt for the way he was treating richie, but it wasn’t his fault.  _ (he led you on he led you on he led you on he led) _

**_1:02 P.M., september twelfth, nineteen ninety two._ **

“eddie-bear! the phone!” sonia’s high-pitched voice sounded. eddie felt bad, whenever he heard his own mother’s voice a certain annoyance raged through him. it was indescribable, and eddie always chalked it up to everyone felt that with their mothers.

“okay, mommy!” he swallowed his pills  _ (placebos placebos placebos placeb) _ and made his way over to the corded telephone. “hello, eddie kaspbrak speaking.”

“eds!” _ fuck _ . “we haven’t hung out in a while,”  _ he led you on HE LED YOU ON  _ “and i would love to see a movie at the aladdin with you, i called ben, mike, and marie and they’re going, too.” marie marie  _ marie marie marie marie _

“i don’t want to talk to you,” eddie responded with a trace of sadness clawing into his voice.

“wh-what?” richie’s voice cracked slightly.

‘i, i said,” eddie gulped, “i don’t want to talk to you!” he raised his voice higher, near tears. betrayal had sunk in for the news three days ago. and three days ago, eddie realized just then how in love with richie he was. he was so in love with that  _ dickhead _ it consumed everything he felt. damn him, richie.

“eddie? what’s going on?” richie’s voice was devastated, wobbly and low.

“leave me alone, richie!” the first tear fell.

“i’m coming over, and you better tell me what the fuck is going on, eds.” 

“don’t fucking call me that!  _ don’t fucking call me that! _ ” he yelled, and hung up the phone. he ran back up to his room, dreading richie’s appearance. eddie wished to rot, to wither away into the void where he could scream all he wanted. maybe the void liked gay people. maybe the void wouldn’t judge.

**_1:42 P.M., september twelfth, nineteen ninety two_ **

a tapping on the window pulled eddie from the nap he took. his hair was messy, and tear tracks stained his cheeks. for the first time in his life, he didn’t make himself presentable for richie. richie was just going to have to see the unorganized eddie today.

sometimes eddie wished he’d only fell in love for the night.

he got up, unlocking the window and seeing the boy who both made him incredibly heartbroken and incredibly happy at the same time. richie looked cute, per usual, but eddie’s mind kept repeating  _ marie marie marie marie marie mari- _

“eddie,” richie breathed out, looking at the smaller boy straight in his eyes. “you look.. different,” richie paused, scanning his face. “have… have you been crying?” his voice went soft, wiping his thumb on eddie’s wet cheeks.

“no,”  _ yes _ , “my eyes are just sweating,” a tear fell, but eddie smudged it with the back of his hand. “i promise.”

“yeah,” richie whispered, completely unconvinced, “eye sweat. happens to the best of us, eds.” eddie pouted, crossing his arms and walking more into the room. richie followed. the room was pristine and cold, eddie always had a fear of bacteria growing in his room.

“why are you here, rich?” eddie sighed, sitting back on the bed. he looked up to the taller boy, trying not to cry more. if he cried, richie would think he’s weak. and eddie is weak, but only when it came to richie.

“why are you mad at me?”  _ you made him sad you made him sad YOU MADE HIM SAD _ “you’ve… been avoiding me since tuesday. we planned to sleep over at your’s on friday, but you cancelled on me. what did i do?”

“nothing,” more tears.

“eds-”

“i said nothing!” he snapped, covering his eyes. tears kept falling and falling, they seemed to  _ float. _

“eddie, tell me! i can’t stand to see you cry! i can’t stand knowing i did something to hurt you, but you won’t tell me what! eds,” he breathed out, near tears himself, “tell me.”

“richie,”

“tell me!”

eddie felt rage throughout his body, encasing him in a temporary hate. “you know what?” he spat, moving his hands and standing up. “i will. i will tell you. what the fuck, richie? you act like you fucking love me and all this shit at night, making me feel special, and then you go and act like you’re one hundred percent straight at day. newsflash, richie, you’re not! the way you act around me when it’s just you and me, it’s  _ not straight! _ ” 

richie was silent.

“and  _ then  _ you get a girlfriend. a girlfriend who, coincidentally, looks a lot like me if i was a girl! what a shock! that doesn’t hurt me at all, rich, no way, i’m not hurt or felt like i’ve been led on! but the most  _ bullshit  _ thing i’ve heard is, you still want to do those sleepovers! the ones that hurt me time after time because i fucking like you more than a friend, and you just act like _ it’s nothing to you! _ ” eddie was yelling by now, angry tears streaming down his face. “i’m not having it! you can’t keep doing this to me!” he tugged on the trigger of his aspirator, squeezing twice.

“eddie,”

“couldn’t you have thought, for once in your life,  _ maybe i shouldn’t fuck around with people if it includes their feelings _ ?”

“why didn’t you tell me?” richie avoided meeting eddie’s eyes.

“because i was scared, rich, and i stupidly assumed that you liked me too. y’know, from the way you kiss my neck sometimes and held me until four a.m.. but, i could be wrong, is that was straight people do with their friends?” eddie sarcastically remarked.

“i’m sorry.”

**_2:08 P.M. april fifth, nineteen ninety three._ **

down the steps. marie and richie. aspirator. bike rack. the routine was standard. eddie’s grown used to it.

“hey, eds, are we still on for tonight? i got the scream trilogy,” richie turns to marie, smiling slightly, “i would watch it with you, babe, but you know how your parents are with school nights.” marie laughed, and nodded. oh how eddie wished that’s what all him and richie were doing. richie cracked his knuckles, looking at eddie expectantly.

_ (still being led on still being led on you’re still being led on YOU’RE STILL BEING LED) _

“yeah, mom’s out for the night. she said she needed to go see grandma for something with her arthritis? which, by the way richie, you could get it from cracking your knuckles. don’t do it.” eddie’s heart pounded in his chest. richie smiled, and squeezed marie’s shoulders.

“alright mar, me and eddie boy gotta get going,” richie unlocked his old, hunk of metal he liked to call a truck, and waved. “see you all on the flip side! if eddie and i don’t come in tomorrow, we’re sleeping.”

“i am  _ not _ missing class because of you, trashmouth.” eddie huffs, stomping over to the car.

richie leaned in, whispering, “i like it better when you call me bubs, eddie boy.”  
_you’re just gonna keep hurting you’re just gonna keep hurting richie doesn’t like you richie doesn’t like you you’re being led on you’re being led on YOU’RE BEING LED ON_


End file.
